*SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE NINE: SEPTEMBER 1998*
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|	     .Top ten anarchistic things done in Glasgow.	     |
|                 By -=The Firestarter & Brakis 		     |
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Each time I go and see Brakis we always do loads of anarchistic stuff
so I have compiled a list of the top ten things we've done in glasgow
over the last year. (these are not in any order).

(10) Reporting a phone box.

Brakis and Myself where doing a few crank calls, after that brakis
reported the phone box as being blown up. This could be fun if the
fone box is miles from civilisation. The conversation went like this:
Brakis: "Hello, this phone box appears to have been firebombed, it's
         all burn out and it only appears to be working."
Bitch on fone: "Ok then we'll send out the relevent people."

(9) Reporting a person.

Again Brakis and Myself where in a fone box (a different one) and some
guy who was a stereotypical paedophile was waiting to use the fone, so
we where going to fax back attack the call box so he couldn't use it,
but insted we did this.
Brakis to 151 "Hi, this guy want to use the fone, and he's been calling
               my aunt and sexualy harrasing her."
Bitch on fone: "Sorry, I can't help you, you'll have to call the police"

Brakis to cops: "Hi, this guy want to use the fone, and he's been calling
                my aunt and sexualy harrasing her."
Cops: "Ok then we'll send round a squad car and a van."

Two minutes later we watched from the end of the street as the car pulled
up.

(8) Blow up a cab box

With a can of lighter gas and the right knowledge we watched as the fount
end flew into the air along with a huge orange fire ball and a loud bang,
after running down several streets we got back to brakis's home safely.
Note: this was one of the small green ones you see on every street.

(7) Play "pop the bag"

This one was done in a super market, no one's looking, burst all the
crisp's by squeezing them or thumping them. Although we got a funny look
from a shelf stacker when there was a loud popping noise as Brakis 
punched a family sized bag or walkers crisps.

(6) Walk the streets looking for fun stuff to do.

Yep, we've all done it, just imagine how Brakis and myself felt when we
found a computer, well we didn't actualy find it, some guy had left it
there. (It was outside his house), So what did we do? we had a few choices
1: Kick in the moniter.
2: Nick it.
Well we nicked it, after running down streets with a moniter and a key 
board under my arm, with Brakis who was carring the rest, we got to a safe
location. Hmm, what kind of computer was it? well we had a look at it, 
a monochrome moniter and no CD ROM drive, ok whats inside?
well not much, it looked like an old spectrum does when you open it up
(I mean the ammount of dust), it had about 4mb or RAM in it, well it was
no good to us, and we weren't going to take it back, well nobodys looking,
we smashed it to fuck. Then proptly left the scene of the crime.

(5) Go trashing

Yep everyone's done it, we didn't find to much. I was going to set fire to
the bins but I realised I hadn't filled up my zippo.

(4) Set fire to bins

This can be really amusing, with a box or two of matches you can set fire
to loads of bins. I tourched one of those ones with the plastic around
the outside, the next day we had a look at it and the plastic had melted
off all over the pavement.

(3) Break into cars

Has that car been dumped? who cares it's got a radio. Smash the window and
steal the radio. (Brakis wouldn't let me fire bomb the vehicle in question
on account of it being too near a main road)

(2) Crank call the local council

The stuff Brakis can say, I mean calling up the local council offices in
Glasgow to talk about the dog shit in the park.

"So you think that the ammount of dog mess in the park is a discrace?"
"Oh no, I like a bit of dog shit me, nothing wrong with dog shit."
you get the idea.

(1) Go sniping.

Seen trainspotting? the bit where Renton and sick boy have the air rifle
in the park. Well it's bloody funny way to pass the time, with a .177 air
air gun and a tin of 500 pellets you can have endless fun, just load up
and fire at anyone within range. (And remember to hide in a bush and remain
quite, I don't care how much the jogger screemed when you shot him on the
arse, don't laugh too load as the fat bloke with the bald head is still
looking for you after you pumped four rounds into him at 50m)