_________ SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE THIRTY SEVEN JANUARY __________ / \___________________________________________/ \ / The most painful experience on Earth \ / -=The Firestarter=- \ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Well i decided to write down this little experience of mine for a couple of reasons, firstly to explain to those people whom i mentioned this too on IRC and let them know exactly what it is that i had done, and secondly just to make the rest of you either cringe or think that i'm some kind of psycho . Ok, i'll start at the beginning over all of this, well since i got my eyebrow pierced i've been very interested in body piercing as a whole, so its something that i read up on and look into when i find the time. Well while browsing BME-Zine and looking over the piercing pictures that they had, it dawned on me, i should get another piercing, but what? hmm, i wasn't wanting to get my eyebrow done for a second time just yet and other than that i didn't wnat any other facial peircings, my nipples didn't appeal too much, so what else was left? heh, well one thing that makes me wince at the thought of is Prince Albert, so that was a no-no. Then it struck me, i should get my frenum done, of course i wasn't too sure of the name at first, to be totally honest i wasn't as sure as of the exact position, but it was in the region of what i wanted done. Well the piercing place had a sale on, only £15ukp for a guy to stick a needle through me. I can't say that i was too nervious about it, well i wanted it done and this was really the only way to achieve this since i'm not one to stick pins and needles (and razors, and blades) thought myself anymore, so i was quite looking forward to this "quick and painless" piercing, that the false advertising lead me to believe. anyhow, what exactly is the frenum i hear a lot of you crying out. Simple, its the small bit of highly sensitive skin that joins the head of my dick to the main part, yup, i can see you all wincing now! So i went into the small shop and walked up to the woman behind the desk, after letting her know what i wanted done, i paid for it and took a seat since the piercer was out, 5 minutes or so he came back, there was a woman before me who was after getting something done, wasn't too sure what but from the silence that was in the air as she went into the small back room i can only figure out that it wasn't any highly "stimulating" areas, unless of course she had some kind of fetish, mind you there was no screams of pleasure either. But anyway, after she came out it was my turn to go in, when i was called up i wandered into the back room and climbed onto the little table/bench/dentist like chair thingy. "So what is it that your wanting done again?" Said the guy, who although looks normal kinda strikes me as a bit of a sadomasachist. "My Frenum" i replied. So he put his gloves on and walked over to the nice little cabinate on the wall to pull out his needles and other instruments which - over the next 5 minutes or so - he was going to use to there full potential as items of torture . So i was instructed to take down my trousers and, umm, well, flop my dick out. Now this is the part that most people find difficult, i usually get from people any one of the following statements: "How can you let a guy touch your dick" Well, simple, hes not jacking me off or anything, all hes doing is sticking a needle thru it. "What did you get a guy to do it for? i mean its not right letting a man handle your dick" Well i guess that i could have demanded that the receptionist did it, but after all, i'd rather somebody male with training stuck a needle through me, than an untrained female who may run the risk of totally peppering my dick and leaveing a bloody mess that does little more than sit there and leak. Anyway, back to the story... Well there i was just lying on the table nice and relaxed asking a few questions about what i was about to have done, questions like the obvious "Does it hurt", with a nice reply of "Oh no, its just dead skin, you won't feel anything", right down to "How many people get this done", "Half a dozen maybe, its not all that common". So after a very short chat he got his nice little freezing spray, i forget the name of it, but it smells cool . Ok, he grabbed my dick with some nice little tongs and sprayed it, fucking hell that was cold, i mean it litterally froze, heh, well any male will tell you that when its cold, it kinda shrivles up, well this was fucking freezing, ice was forming (thats no joke), anyhow, this hurt in itself, i belieave my exact words where. "Jesus christ, thats cold". Then as he picked up his nice long needle and held it right next to my dick he said "Don't worry we'll soon warm you up". Then he stuck it in me. The pain shot right thru me, kinda like being kicked in the bollocks then having your dick slapped about with barb wire at the same time. "FUCKING HELL, JESUS CHRIST, AWW FUCK THAT HURTS" Where more or less what i cried out in pain as my vision went all fuzzy, and i got light headed, hell, i'm not prone to fainting or blackouts, but i almost made an exception on this day. Being slightly morbid i couldn't help but actually watch what was going on, the sign of the needle making an appearence through my dick was, umm, odd and then him retracting it to leave the little straw like tube in it was pretty amusing, but thats all i fully recall since my vision looked very similar to what channel 5 did when they first launched - yup, loverly static. A few moment later he'd clipped the straw and put a nice ring though it. It bled for a little while (about 2 minutes), all that time a deep throbing pain like somebody using a jackhammer on dick while grinding my bollocks into the ground. (For our female readers, just imagine somebody rubbing dry ice on your clit, then streatching it out as far as it will go, and sticking a needle thru it, then imagine a pain like somebody beating it with a wire brush and a cattle prod) So after a few more lines of "AWWW FUCK" the pain subsided and the guy just stood there saying things like "Hmm, well it doesn't usually hurt" and "You must have a few nerves in there" followed by "You might have one or two problems with it". I dunno if the guy was genuinly suprised as to how much pain i had just endured because it wasn't meant to hurt , or he was amazed that i was still concious and therefor lost a bet with the receptionist that i'd pass out. Either way, i pulled my trousers up and just lay on the bench for a few minutes until i was certain i wasn't going to pass out. Shortly afterwards i decided that i could walk, and decided to stand up and leave. So after thanking the piercer and the receptionist, i left the shop just after they said "Feel free to come back so we can inflict more pain on you again", heh, i got something similar when i had my eyebrow pierced, i didn't beleive it then, but look what happened :p. So after SMSing AoD to inform her that i had just had my dick pierced i went home (walking was wierd afterwards) and slept for god knows how long. Anyhow, a week or two later (it only takes 2 to 3 weeks to totally heal), there is no pain, it looks cool as fuck and sex is great with it. So there is my story for all those who asked me to explain what happened! Well i'm proud of it, and everyone that i know (well, who knows about it) seems interested in it, and although they all want to see what it looks like they don't actually want to see it and decline any offers to see it