_________  SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE THIRTY SEVEN JANUARY   __________
  /         \___________________________________________/          \
 /                          HunSpotting                             \
/                             by MadThing                            \
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Choose bigotry

Choose cretinism

Choose knuckledragging

Choose sub-fascism

Choose tugging your   forelock to royalty

Choose imperialism in   Ireland

Choose nineteen attempts at winning the European Cup, and nineteen
failures--a   record

Choose ten European exits in nine seasons

Choose being up to your knees in fenian blood

Choose Walter Smith

Choose to be ugly

Choose to get beat 7-1 by Celtic in a cup final--a record

Choose to be the laughing stock of Europe

Choose to waste 14M quid

Choose a schizoid national identity

Choose not to win the Coronation Cup

Choose not to win the Empire Exhibition Trophy

Choose not to win the European Cup

Choose to be the second team to do nine-in-a-row after Celtic

Choose virulent, bitter anti-Catholicism

Choose funny handshakes, aprons, and rolled-up trouser legs

Choose to look like an eejit in an Orange sash

Choose wifebeating

Choose a lingerie-wearing alcoholic sex pest as goalkeeper

Choose to support a bunch of drunk drivers who smash up pubs and kebab
shops

Choose gerrymandering

Choose Ion Feargisin

Choose to be liked by nobody and pretend not to care

Choose to be fleeced repeatedly by a rich steel magnate

Choose hubris and a ludicrous master-race mentality

Choose to have your arrogant boasts turned into an annual ritual of national
humiliation

Choose to follow, follow a bunch of hacking animals

Choose cheating

Choose your own referees and assistant referees--except in Europe

Choose to have your arse licked by media sycophants

Choose to beat a lambeg drum

Choose Ian Paisley

Choose jobbies in jacuzzis

Choose the National Anthem

Choose thuggery in sundry English cities

Choose to believe that David Murray signs top-class European players

Choose to lose to Berwick Rangers

Choose to lose six goals home AND away in a European Cup semi-final

Choose to disgrace your only Euro trophy by having the police beat the shit
out   of you

Choose to go 25 years without winning the Scottish Cup

Choose to lose the league by getting beat 4-2 by ten men

Choose William of Orange

Choose the Forces of Darkness

Choose Beelzebub

Choose a muttonchopped bigot as a director

Choose to watch crap football and pretend it's good

Choose self-deception and delusions of grandeur

Choose ignorance of history

Choose a decade of tactical ineptitude in Europe

Choose to support a monument to intolerance

Choose to feel good by swearing at the Pope

Choose to take out your feelings of social inadequacy on Irish immigrants

Choose not to sign Danny McGrain because you think he's a Catholic

Choose to believe David Murray's PR stunts and then pretend they never
happened

Choose to think that Ronaldo might sign for you

Choose the ex-Faeroes Islands coach

Choose getting knocked out of three cups before October

Choose to be a pathetic, attention-seeking, bigoted hun twat.