_________ SWAT MAGAZINE ISSUE THIRTY NINE MARCH __________ / \___________________________________________/ \ / HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD \ / By Lemming \ ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "We don't change society in a day until we change ourselves from the inside out" -Dead Kennedys, 'Stars And Stripes Of Corruption' 1. Don't take anything too seriously The golden rule of life, and a disclaimer for the rest of this list. 2. Get connected to the Internet Try a search for some of the following keywords: Waco, Iran-Contra, Wounded Knee, My Lai, Cointelpro, Bilderberg, Ruby Ridge, Echelon...and then deny this system is beyond reform. 3. Subscribe to SchNEWS The best weekly direct action newsletter for the UK. If you read only one alternative source of news this should be it! Subscribe by email at www.schnews.org.uk. 4. Listen to Rage Against The Machine You're not a real revolutionary if you don't listen to RATM. The subjects of their songs are as diverse as Cointelpro (Wake Up), the religious right (Bulls On Parade) and sweatshop workers (Maria). 5. Buy the Big Issue every week Because it's great, and a means of survival for many people. 6. Don't donate to charity There are a few exceptions to this rule (possibly Oxfam, War On Want etc.) but generally charity makes very little difference. If you really want to change the world start by supporting the alternative media, and then join an affinity group or syndicalist union. 7. Read What you don't know might kill us all. Read up on the corporate media, the CIA, the FBI, labour history, feminism, social ecology, anarchist theory, the global economy and more. Tip for newcomers to Chomsky: Start with 'What Uncle Sam Really Wants'. 8. Never pay for software Paying for software is absolutely unnecessary. You can save yourself a whole bunch of cash and deprive Bill Gates and co. of even more by getting software from binary newsgroups and FTP sites. You can do the same with movies (in DivX format) if you've got a high bandwidth connection. Otherwise you'll have to get a friend to copy stuff for you, or perform the buy-rip-return trick on an unsuspecting chain store. 9. Respect netiquette I cannot stress this enough. Don't hammer FTP sites, don't drain bandwidth, don't reply to spam or trolls, wrap newsgroup and email messages to 76 columns maximum...also be vigilant when netiquette is violated by other people. 10. Put up stickers Order stickers from your local anarchist group, or make your own and walk around with some at all times. The Solidarity Federation has recently printed a new batch - give 'em a fiver and they'll send you a whole bunch. Address: SF, PO Box 1681, London N8 7LE. 11. Walk Cars pollute the planet - try and walk whenever possible, or use public transport. Better still, get a bicycle. 12. Take drugs Just kidding. I'm straight edge, so I don't take illegal substances of any kind (honest mum!). 13. Buy the cheapest stuff possible Ignore the people who tell you to boycott a particular product, just buy the cheapest one available. This applies to everything - clothes, food, computer hardware, you name it. Keep the money you save and use it to buy a subscription to your favourite underground magazine. 14. Do your fair share of housework At the same time, don't do *more* than your fair share. If your flatmate/partner/parents are lazy sods tell them. 15. Fill out your census form with lies The census is an invasion of your privacy. Feed the system disinformation. 16. Start a web site You ain't nobody if you ain't got yer own .com baby! 17. Read a variety of underground and overground media It'll broaden your horizons. Try reading everything from anarchist magazines to liberal broadsheets to right-wing tabloids. 18. Support the alternative media It's the information war that determines the public's perception of current events, and at present our enemies have a monopoly on the media. We need to break that monopoly by building up our own propaganda machines. 19. Recycle Paper, bottles, drink cans...almost everything can be recycled. 20. Fight censorship Learn how to bypass filtering software. And bash the Christian right whenever possible. 21. Adbusting Everyone can understand the message when you subvert corporate propaganda. 22. Vote at Vote.co.uk I have a consistently libertarian voting record. How about you? 23. Mix with a diverse bunch of people Like Michael Moore says, revolutionaries shouldn't become a sect removed from the rest of society. How do you expect people to join you politically if you aren't willing to join them socially? 24. Vote/don't vote Vote for the Legalise Cannabis Alliance, or the Monster Raving Loony Party, or draw a great big circle A across your ballot paper. Or just stay at home. It really doesn't make much difference. Just make sure you don't do anything stupid, like voting for Labour. 25. Fuck shit up Pranks: Now more than ever. 26. Start, or join, an affinity group The primary method of organising which will bring down the system. 27. Reclaim corporate space Walk around stores like you own them - because you do. Or at least, you should. Abuse their facilities and drain their resources. But respect the staff. 28. Order books from AK Distribution Don't order from Amazon or some other scummy corporate bookstore if AK carries the book or CD you want - check at www.akuk.com. 29. Shop at independent retailers If possible. 30. Commit credit card fraud Everyone's a winner when it comes to credit card fraud - the "victim" can claim the money back, and you get free stuff! The only loser is the bank/insurance company! 31. Read Crass lyrics The music's not too hot, but the lyrics are some of the best ever, especially General Bacardi, Have A Nice Day and Nineteen Eighty Bore. The amount of influence that Crass had both on the punk and anarchist scenes should not be underestimated. 32. Don't litter the planet This is so fucking easy, but so many people think they can treat the planet like a rubbish dump just because our corporate masters do. The other day I was accused of not being an anarchist because I objected to my friend throwing a magazine on the ground! 33. Respect your fellow humans Don't treat people like shit... 34. Don't let people disrespect you ...and don't take any shit from them 35. Go to meetings Meet people who share your political beliefs and organise with them to destroy the state-corporate system. 36. Listen to Eminem In a weird way, it'll make you more tolerant. 37. Ignore anything George Monbiot says He's an idiot. 38. Fight the power Wherever you go, be vigilant and have a short fuse when it comes to oppression and hierarchy. Constantly invent new methods of resistance to outsmart your masters. 39. Defend free speech Even for people you don't like and views you don't agree with. 40. Practice democracy What's the point in fighting against the current system if we don't create a better one in the making? Try and organise to overthrow capitalism using libertarian socialist principals. 41. Fall in love You'll enjoy life more. 42. Blow stuff up This can be very theraputic. If life is getting you down release some of that built-up anger by bombing your local McDonald's. 43. Take part in a protest Obvious really. Try not to get arrested though. 44. Hack the planet Hackers have a long history of defending cyber-rights and helping out newbies on the Internet. They should be among the most respected people in the world, along with stand-up comedians and bus drivers. 45. Get Linux Problem: Micro$oft has a monopoly on operating systems and its software sucks (with the possible exception of Windows 2000). Solution: Get a flavour of Linux, the free (almost) Unix-based OS. 46. Learn a foreign language To help break down cultural barriers. 47. Recycle books What exactly is the point of keeping books after you've read them? Unless it's one that you know you'll return to, pass them on to a friend or a charity shop. 48. Share files on the Internet Napster may be going down soon, but there are loads of other ways to share files on the Net. If you've got DSL or cable why not run an FTP site? 49. Join a union If there isn't one in your workplace, start one. Remember, anyone can join the IWW - www.iww.org.uk. 50. Have fun There's no point in fighting for a better world if we don't enjoy what freedom we have. 51. Secure your computer No one else is going to do it for you - get a decent firewall and anti-virus software. 52. Start a band You're young, foolish and you hate the system. So the obvious thing to do is start a band innit! 53. Shout at the TV When something comes on TV that you don't like, try shouting at it. You'll feel better. 54. Wear slogan-y T-shirts While all the other zombies walk around like corporate billboards why not promote an idea rather than a product? 55. Answer newsgroup questions Help out a newbie or 2 in the technical help newsgroups. 56. Avoid tax Tax goes to the government. The government are a bunch of corrupt murderers. Go figure. 57. Listen to alternative radio Cause it's great. Above all, defend WBAI because I love it! 58. Post to alt.fan.abbie-hoffman Goddammit someone post some stuff! 59. Don't pay your TV license Don't be a fool. 60. Distribute leaflets Or print off a few copies of SchNEWS to give to your friends. 61. Raise kids Someone's got to. 62. Read the 13th amendment of the United States constitution Think the 13th amendment outlaws slavery? Think again! It makes an exception for slavery as a form of punishment in prisons, which explains a lot when you think about it. 63. Get a job We all gotta make a living somehow. 64. Quit your job But sometimes it can get unbearable. If so, tell your boss to go shove it. Note: This isn't an option for some people. 65. Do all your washing together I've never understood the fuss that people make over whites and colors. Just bung it all in with biological powder. 66. Reply to junk mail Junk mail is hassling for you and it makes your postal worker's life more difficult. Every time you receive junk mail from a freepost address reply to it asking them to take you off their mailing list. If they don't comply, try sending them something heavy, for example a paving slab. 67. Read 1984 This has got to be the most quoted book of all time, apart from the Bible. 68. Adopt a pet Don't buy a cat or dog from a pet shop, adopt one from an animal home. The amount of forms you have to fill in are a bit off-putting I admit, but try to persevere. 69. Shred all documents You never know who might be going through your trash can. Also paper shreds make great hamster bedding. 70. Become vegetarian For your own health, and for animal rights. If you want a real challenge, try going vegan. 71. Bookmark Indymedia It's a lot easier than typing "www.indymedia.org" into your browser address bar every time you want some real news as opposed to corporate propaganda. 72. Steal stationery from work They expect it. 73. Don't eat junk food The first duty of the revolutionary is to stay alive. High-chloresterol food is bad for you and is probably made by some scummy corporation. 74. Dodge bus fares If you know how. 75. Get PGP Download this essential program from www.pgpi.org. This will allow you to encrypt files and email messages so the NSA can't read them, at least not for a few years. Tip: Try 4096-bit encryption. 76. Laugh at the Millennium Dome Every time you pass the Millennium Dome or see it on TV laugh at it. It's hilarious. 77. Become famous Apart from giving you an opportunity to push for social change, becoming famous gives you insurance to protect you from being assassinated by the secret state. 78. Masturbate It sure is fun. 79. Boycott the World Bank Find out if your school/university/company invests in the World Bank and if so pressure them to pull out. This is one boycott that might actually work - see www.worldbankboycott.org. 80. Chat on IRC Talking to people from all over the world is a great experience, and also a democratising force when people do it en masse. 81. Learn newspeak Welfare reform = Welfare cuts Entrepreneurial-encouraging subsidies = Corporate welfare Downsizing = Layoffs Globalization = World corporate domination Forces of conservatism = Anyone Tony Blair doesn't like Protectionism = Human rights or environmental standards Structural adjustment = Upward wealth redistribution 82. Watch Question Time ...and gasp at the fact that all 5 panelists are usually all rabid right-wing neoliberalists, not including that Dimbleby guy who is also (surprise, surprise), a rabid right-wing neoliberalist. This is what passes for balanced debate on the BBC! 83. Get Anita Roddick with a custard pie A special prize from me for the first person to do this. 84. Pass on travelcards Are travelcards non-transferable? Yes. Do you give a fuck? No! 85. Feed the pigeons in Trafalgar Square "Feed the birds, tuppence a bag...". And if you see Ken Livingstone give him a slap. 86. Shoot up your high school Get your own back on all those bullies who tease you about your clothes and the music you listen to. Who's laughing now bitches? Muhahahaha! 87. Read the Bible Since so many people claim to follow it, it's worth a flick through. Steal a copy from the next hotel you stay in. 88. Admit it when you're wrong It's so much easier that way. 89. Become a teacher Good teachers are hard to come by these days, but kids remember them for the rest of their lives. Shouts to: Ms Leighshon, Mr Shahed, Mr Forrest, Mr Scott (all real names). And a big fuck you to Mrs Brett - I hope you died a slow and painful death. 90. Don't get married What exactly is the point of marriage from a non-religious, non-monogamous, non-sexist point of view? Fair enough if it's for tax or passport reasons but otherwise steer well clear. 91. Shoplift If you can get away with it, shoplifting is well worthwhile. 92. Mask up Wear a Zapatista-style mask or balaclava to the next mass action you go to. CCTV and police cameras are everywhere. 93. Graffiti Graffiti has become an accepted medium for contemporary art. Rather than just tag your area like a cat pissing on its territory try and use your art as a tool to achieve radical social change. 94. Get a mobile phone Do you have any idea how annoying it is the phone someone's house and find that they're not in? Join the communications revolution. 95. Infiltrate the secret state A bit ambitious maybe, but if you can do this great! Applications to Mr Tim Hepple, c/o Searchlight magazine. 96. Support prisoners Remember, it could be you. Write to prisoners and help raise awareness about miscarriages of justice. And read/listen to Mumia Abu-Jamal's commentaries because he's cool. 97. Smash up property It's naive to think we can reason with the forces of oppression or overthrow the state-corporate system using purely "non-violent" means. An essential revolutionary tactic is the destruction of corporate property. Read 'Pacifism As Pathology' by Ward Churchill if you think otherwise. 98. Grow stuff Rediscover the lost art of gardening, but not in a Charlie Dimmock kind of way. Even if it's just a tiny hemp plant in your bedroom window it's a step towards self-sufficiency. 99. Actually do something It's not important that you follow all the reccommendations in this guide - hell, even I don't. What is important is that you do *something*, rather than just sit on your ass watching MTV and drinking beer. Remember, direct action is the only language the ruling class understands. 100. Kill yourself Applies only to heads of state and corporate CEOs. Lemming appreciates both positive and negative feedback. Email him at lemming@grandtheftcyber.com.